Eugene Bidau, Le Printemps, 1896
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
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#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
Ever since I put a picture of me as my profile pic or whatever on Twitter, several cute guys started following me. Maybe the world is planning some massive prank.
- Will: A forty-foot worm? Think of the size of the fish we could catch.
- Jem: It’s not funny, you know.
- Will: It is a bit.
- Jem: You cannot reduce the situation to worm jokes, Will. This is Gabriel and Gideon’s father we’re discussing.
- Will: We’re not just discussing him; we’re chasing him through an ornamental sculpture garden because he’s turned into a worm.
- Jem: A demonic worm. A great serpent. Would that help your inappropriate humor?
- Will: There was a time when my inappropriate humor brought you a certain amusement. How the worm has turned.
- Jem: WILL—
"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
Some Things You Might Have Forgotten About Percy Jackson
- In the beginning of the series, Grover is 28 years old (making him about 33 by the Blood of Olympus)
- Someone in New York City has a statue of Smelly Gabe on their property
- Annabeth is really good at playing Hacky Sack
- Grover’s Uncle Ferdinand is still a statue at Aunty Em’s Garden Emporium (and is missing an arm).
- Annabeth’s father is a Harvard graduate.
- If Percy had aged with the books release dates, he would have been 21 in The Blood of Olympus.
- Travis and Connor Stoll aren’t twins.
- Blackjack was originally written as a female Pegasus.
- Blackbeard is now running around the modern day world thanks to Hermes’ vitamins
- Camp Half-Bloods address is the first four digits of pi.
- Chiron wears his horse tail in curlers
- Nico and Bianca were never technically claimed.
- The dam snack bar
- Several dozen Target stores across the country have arrows stuck in their signs from when Zoë shot them
- Percy knows how to ride/drive a motorcycle
- Travis Stoll got cursed by the Aphrodite cabin and was stuck wearing clown makeup for a month.
- Tyson and Grover were trapped in the Labyrinth together for over two weeks.
- Kampê is still buried in a mound of boulders in Camp Half Blood.
- Pollux is now Dionysus’s only child.
- May Castellan is still waiting for Luke to come home.
BLOGWARTS: If the HP characters were on tumblr...
- Harry Potter: stream of angry texts posts a la "MY LIFE SUCKS. MY PARENTS ARE DEAD, MY MENTORS ARE DEAD, MY OWL IS DEAD MY WAND IS BROKEN AND MY SCAR HURTS."
- Ron Weasley: food porn blog
- Hermione Granger: social justice SPEW blogger calling people out on their bullshit. "let the elves decide whether they are house or garden. check yo privelege."
- Ginny Weasley: "day 394-I am not yet dating harry potter" + gifsets dedicated to his scar.
- Luna Lovegood: the nightblogger.
- Draco Malfoy: hipster blogger
- Filch: reblogs pictures/videos/gifs of cats.
- Hagrid: the fluffy chicken girl-"if i get 700,000 notes my headmaster said I could get a chimera."
- McGonagall: that one person who ruins everyones fun text posts.
- Snape: anonymously leaves this in harry's ask "10 point from gryffindor" and then reblogs it.
- Bellatrix Lestrange: fanart of her and the dark lord in compromising positions.
- Voldemort: the blog that just steals everyone else's gifsets to gain followers - "Follow this lord, you will love him on your dashboard".
- Dumbledore: all the gay porn
we need an emergency fake dash in case any of our relatives suddenly demand to see what we do on tumblr
like you log in with the password “parent alert” and it takes you to a dash that’s just the wisdom of confucius and new yorkers dissing olive garden
we should have that
Done.
Email: allfandomsmatter@gmail.com
Password: parentalert
Username: helpsomeonescoming
Use it well. Lets blast it so everyone can use it. Good luck.
"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel.
redrobin-detective
